There’s monsters in my bed
Photo credit: Simon Chandra
FUN FACT: These eggs are evil. Octopus babies are evil. Let me tell you why. The octopus mother lays her eggs in a cave roof and spends 6 months guarding them from potential predators and swaying the eggs with her tentacle so they get oxygen. This means she doesn’t eat or sleep until they hatch. When the octopus babies hatch, she dies from fatigue and starvation. THEN THEY FUCKING EAT HER. THEY EAT THEIR MOTHER WHO DIED BECAUSE SHE WAS LOOKING AFTER THEM. THEY. EAT. HER.
This sounds like what my mother said i did to her
iPhone users: Finally iPhone has a bigger screen!
Andriod users: We already had that.
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
men: *centuries of privilege and positions of power, wealth, and influence and general lack of consequences for their actions*
woman: hey maybe id like to have a job and get paid the same amount of money? also not to be raped. yeah then i guess im a feminist
men: wow HOW DARE YOU i am a MAN and i have FEELINGS! I matter too OPPRESSION IS A MYTH did i mention i am a MAN and i MATTER? GOD HOW COULD YOU BE SO BLIND